Seven simple tips for PRs everywhere

After feeling like a schmo for telling a PR off last night, I realized it was time to write this credo for my flack friends everywhere.

Note, I didn't so much tell them off as point out the obvious; but apparently, Simon Cowell-as-Laurie-Wiegler isn't sitting too well with innkeepers in Northern California right now (I imagine it wasn't a real publicist who sent the pitch, or she would have known better.)

So here's what you need to know in order to keep the journos well fed and on your side:

1. Address us by name. This is so obvious that I can't believe I have to mention it. The above offender cut and pasted her pitch to me. I thought it was SPAM at first.

2. Get to the point in the first sentence or at least the first graf.

3. Stop at graf two. If you can't sell me in two grafs, I'm not interested. Remember, I am pouring through dozens of pitches like yours. I don't have time to read novels.

4. Please, please keep the links and cute images to a minimum.

5. No pitches "in case you are writing about mint julep in springtime" or "Christmas in Vienna" (when I'm pitching Thanksgiving stuffing stories.)

6. Assume I'm on your side, but don't want to hang out. I realize you have a sometimes thankless profession (so do I, believe me), but just because I am friendly and helpful does not mean we are buddies. Do not put me on your rote mailer (the daily blogs about your cousin's marmalade or how to green your kitchen in five easy steps) without asking my permission. I also recommend just avoiding the idea all together. No one is getting too few e-mails these days.

7. Have relevance. If I have posted a query on ProfNet about needing to talk to nuclear physicists, do not send a pitch about astronomy conventions in Denmark.