1. I resolve to never make mean faces when I read e-mail rejections from editors, or if I do, I resolve to not record them and send them as attachments;
2. I resolve to rely more on my brain and less on Spellcheck, unless of course I'm really tired;
3. I resolve to be nicer to PRs who interrupt my busy day with pitches that are 17 paragraphs long and are addressed to "Laura Weigler" (Never was, never WILL BE Laura, and it's i before e, thank you very much);
4. I resolve to be nice when checks are late. No, no I don't. I resolve to hunt down editors who don't pay on time, publish their names on my blog, and kidnap their puppies!
5. I resolve to encourage my fellow journalists in the same way I want them to encourage me: constant praise, heaps of praise, gushing to the point of idolatry;
6. I resolve to stop screaming when I read the way a 23-year-old editor has just ruined my copy;
7. I resolve to stop bragging when one of my editors has had lunch with a major celebrity;
8. I resolve to learn how to iron my clothes, I mean really, for real, before business lunches, cocktail parties, etc. or at least finally find a boyfriend who can do this for me;
9. I resolve to stop going to journalist parties only when the first drink is on the house;
10. I resolve to keep defending my profession in 2013, be-yatches. If you think blogging is the new journalism, then I ask you to explain what the five Ws and one H are, what a lede is, and why Hunter S. Thompson should have been president.
No comments:
Post a Comment