We should, but that doesn't mean me will

I recently made the mistake of taking someone at their word. This was a PR, so yes, I realize that was my first mistake.


However, when I went back to read their previous e-mail supposedly promising me answers to some questions the next day, I saw that the publicist had said "should". Should as in "we should have them to you by tomorrow".


I then realized that top level publicists must be well-versed in the art of dishones-uh, I mean-putting-someone-offishness. Sorry, is there a proper word for this? Or should I hold off looking that up until tomorrow?


This subtle difference is, of course, clear when I tutor ESL and have to explain to my student that when one says "should" it is not definite, but more definite than "may" and certainly more than "could".


So why is it that I took a "should get it to you tomorrow" as definite? Was it because I was desperate to meet my deadline (which, by the way, has passed) or was I projecting my own integrity onto that of the PR? I believe it was the latter. And again, see first graf, that was my first mistake.

Now, I have my problems. I can be impulsive, reacting to people and incidents when I should - that's should mind you - let the profanity/lost keys/burnt toast/Vogue cover (Kim and Kanye--reallllllly?) - just roll off me.


But one thing I never do is mislead people. I wouldn't even know where to start. As it is, when I look at my CV and see "basic French" I think, 'Should I explain what my definition of 'basic' is?"


And is my honesty and transparency the reason I am not as rich as the other person on the end of that "should" e-mail? And will my haughty self-righteousness guarantee me a place in heaven, replete with seven male virgins (not that that would be attractive, but I'm an equal opportunity fantasizer.)


If I, for example, started saying "Should" tomorrow, with whom should I start? I know, my mother. Next time she asks if I am coming for Christmas, I will say, "I should expect so."


Of course that won't be good enough for Mom, a retired fifth grade teacher and now a substitute teacher in Texas.


"Should? You SHOULD choose your words more carefully."


"Okay, I WILL, I WILL come for Christmas."


I could, though, try "Should" on the bus driver. "I should pay the fare."


Eye roll. "Really? I SHOULD kick you off this bus."


"Oh, okay."


"Should" on my cat?


"I SHOULD feed you."


"MEOW".


"Oh, okay...."


...
Let's face it, I'm just not cut out for subterfuge. And it's probably too late for me to start emulating wealthier scribes who obviously have no regard for my time or my feelings. But apparently, what they do have regard for are the nuances of language.


And that is something I can respect.

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