Time to shutter these annoying American phrases, words and jargon

When I told my brother last night that a local restaurant and bar reminded me of a pub I'd find in Ealing or anywhere in West London, "except then people spoke with American accents," he quipped with a laugh: "Including YOU!"

He knows how to get my goat. He knows that my 14 months in jolly old England affected me in many ways including how I communicate. I wrote my dissertation in British English, receiving a mark just four points shy of distinction. I am rather proud of this.

Yet, those British words and phrases are not helping me here in Connecticut. Instead, I must reassimilate - a process I never hear anyone talk about! - and learn to love the way my fellow Americans speak. I was gone 14 months, as I said, and though I returned on various trips I was basically spared Trump nation-speak. So following please note I make no apologies for hating the following:

1. "You got this." - If Brits are saying this as well, I have not heard them, and every time I hear it I want to smack the speaker. I have even seen this in commercials. You got this. Sounds like a disease. Stop it.

2. "Go for it!" - Again, I did not hear this in London. I was at King's College, though, where the level of discourse was often far above my own natural way of speaking. Dear Americans, please learn to express what you really feel and not rely on euphemisms.

3. "Girl" - as in "Get it, girl!" - I cannot detail the ways in which this offends me. And I am likely to hear it from the same folks who refer to me (urp) as "m'am." In London everyone called me "madam", just fyi. There is another one - fyi. I shall stop it.

4. "Awesome" - You know what is awesome? The Grand Canyon. So is the birth of a baby or the view of the Alps from Air France. Please buy a thesaurus, read some books and spend your time with smarter people if you can't mutter more accurate adjectives. Here are a few to ponder: "Breathtaking", "Colorful", "Surprising", "Shocking", "Appealing", "Comforting", "Reassuring", "Divine." See, one must think about what she is really trying to say here. The one-size-fits-all mentality to "awesome" is what irks me; a new bra is only "awesome" if it comes affixed with electrodes that can read one's mind.

5. "On the other side" (CNN) - This is something the anchors say when they are really saying that a story will continue after the commercial. The anchor is saving a total of -1 word this way. For example, if I say, "The story about widgets will continue after the commercial" that is nine words. If I say "The story about widgets will continue on the other side" I have used ten words and also confused you, the viewer.

6. "Nasty" - And this is addressed to you-know-who. Nasty is only fine to use if used correctly, as in "a nasty cold" or "nasty rodent". Nasty is not fine to use when the speaker or writer wishes to denegrate women; as in 'She has x opinion so she must be nasty!'

7. "Bandwidth"- As in "Do you have the bandwidth for this document/call/rescheduling lunch with Mr. Romeo?" I still think of bandwidth as it's #1 meaning, which is from the field of electronics and has to do with a range of frequencies of a band, especially what are used for signalling. There is no reason to lean on its second definition, which means "mental energy". Just ask someone if they have the patience/time/energy to absorb/receive/etc whatever it is you are about to annoy them with.

8. All acronymns that are not IBM: Why do I even need to explain this? I remember asking a PR what something in the environmental sector meant after she had sent a missive littered with acronyms. I would like to add a note to the PRs as well - yes I have given you an acronym (breaking my own advice), but find if anyone can take an acronym it's you. Public Relations is a fine profession, and one I am more apt to regard highly if said professional spelt out her words. The annoying part of acronyms is the clubby atmosphere on the part of the users: 'We're so smart and you are not if you don't know that HWEPs (helmets with extra padding!) are."

If you have any more suggestions, please leave them in COMMENTS. <blockquote>Photo: Wikimedia Commons Images, By Dave Proffer - These folks could use a better acronym, CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=25709727