Top 10 Pet Peeves, Grammar Edition


Many niggling grammar mistakes, slang, acronyms and jargon rattle my cage. Here is a short summary:
1. Every day is two words when one means "every" as a determiner and "day" as a noun. Everyday is an adjective, as in "everyday occurrence". I just read a post from the World Health Organization, no less, in which everyday was used incorrectly! "Get 8 hours of sleep everyday!" (Cue nails on 20th century chalkboard.)
2. I am tired everyone "pivoting". When a boss first told me to pivot, I thought she meant do a little ballerina turn. Say "change your tack" or "try another way" etc.
3. A hundred percent. A joke of this is made beautifully in the opening scene between John Mayer's shallow character on the make and B.J. Novak's. Every question they pose over cocktails has one answer, "hundred percent." Please only use this if you are telling an eighth grader how well he did on his math test.
4. Acronyms. Unless it is IBM or USA, I probably do not have a clue. The most annoying use happens when a company spokesperson or CEO knows very well it's confusing the listener, but wants them to feel less than. Oh, we are such a smart company! That's why we have the AWDIT Club? Say what? "All we do is think!"
5. Awesome or amazing. Need I say more? Use istead: resplendent, colorful, shocking, delightful, tantalizing, illuminating, bewildering or memorable, depending on the context of course. Amazing or awesome is what NASA finds on MARS, not your Croque Monsieur.
6. Your instead of you're. Your is a possessive pronoun used when one says "your bike" or "your cheeks". When one is miserable, write "you are miserable". You (personal pronoun) plus are (linking verb).
7. Bragging about your doctorate. In the UK, we called our tutors (professors here) by their first names. If James, who has a PhD from Oxford, is so humble why are you bragging about your PhD in economics from Fresno State? You should be proud, of course, but we don't need to see "DrJones123" as your Twitter handle.
8. "Wherever you get your podcasts." Why do I have to get podcasts? No one says, "Wherever you buy or borrow your books."
9. Laughing at references from long ago. It is not funny that I'm telling you about a major story I broke 20 years ago, even if you were three at the time. Read a book, Gen Z: there were people who came before you.
10. Finally, their/they're. This is the same rule as your/you're. Their Persian ran after my Rottweiler. They're going to be in big trouble when I sick my Chihuahua on them."
Photo: the author's maternal grandmother Susie, a school teacher, who would be "mighty proud" (as she would have said) of her granddaughter for writing this.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Generations: How a young millennial journalist makes (and gets) her news (part 1 of 2)

Image
Marissa Gamache will be starting her senior year of college this autumn, spending part of it studying in Ireland at Maynooth University before graduating from Bethel University in Minnesota. She is completing a double major in journalism and international relations, and this summer, is interning as a reporter on the government team at Transport Topics in Arlington, Va. where I am a business reporter. I wanted to discuss with Marissa how her generation of reporters sees journalism these days, where it's going, and how she fights the allure of getting all her news from Facebook . Marissa, when you think of previous generations of journalists, what words come to mind? I think of the 6 p.m. nightly news and my parents. Are they journalists? No. I think of old journalism, Watergate, Edward R. Murrow, and Bob Costas. Thank you. So, how do you feel your generation is changing the way journalism is done? I think we're on a minute-to-minute basis. I think we are expecting...
Read more

What you should know about homelessness

Image
According to Yale Neurology I am homeless . I say according to them, because the resident who saw me most recently noted that. I did not want to depict my lifestyle that way, but how else would one assess five consecutive nights without shelter? Although I make $1163 a month in Early Social Security benefits and am getting a small stipend from a cousin, it is never enough here in Connecticut. Between dental bills and storage payments to both the U.S. and the U.K., where I went to grad school, I'm tapped out two weeks after receiving my money. You don't want to lose even one night of sleep. Although you may think you understand how it feels, because you have traveled to Peru and experienced jet lag or enjoyed an all-nighter at 17, ending up at a pancake house at five a.m. and not sleeping (as I did once), you don't have any idea. After five nights of sleep deprivation, even if you can count backwards by 7's (as I did for Yale Neuro, at their request), you are confusing w...
Read more

9-11 Conversations, 10 years of memories

Image
Edward's cousin worked at Cantor Fitzgerald. I would hear about his cousin's death when Edward came into Barnes & Noble in Westport, where I began working in October, 2001 after my job in New York came to an end that August. Edward was very depressed. He just wanted something of his brother's, wanted to go back, touch the site. I believe he got a sweater of the cousin's. Then there was the time I was wrapping a child's gift. I smiled, "Who's it for?" The patron, stonefaced, told me "her father died in the attacks." *** Moving to New York in 2001, I had a choice of either living in the city or moving farther out into the 'burbs. I chose the latter, but commuted into Midtown Manhattan, where I worked as a real estate writer for Rubenstein Associates. This PR firm happened to have represented, and still does, Larry Silverstein Properties. I had no idea who Silverstein was, but I knew this was all pretty fancy. I also knew that New York w...
Read more